


Where Do We Go From Here

by tommygirl



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
Genre: Gen, Post-Movie(s), Yuletide, Yuletide 2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 10:42:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8887816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tommygirl/pseuds/tommygirl
Summary: There needed to be a conversation with the werewolves before filming could be finished and the filmmakers could find the theme of the documentary.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Deense](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deense/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide to my recipient. I hope you enjoy this story.

Viago opened the door and grinned at the cameraman.  He said, “Friends.  Come in.  The boys are very excited to see the last of the footage you shot.”

The two men made their way into the home, following the vampire down a long hall and taking in the décor that was a mish-mash of several decades.  They could hear shouting as they walked and Viago turned to shoot them an apologetic look.  He sighed and said, “Sometimes flat mates fight.  And if you’re Deacon, you fight a lot.”

“This won’t be too long.  I just wanted to show you some of the last footage we caught as we wrapped things up.  Getting Stu’s pack to give some interviews really gave this documentary a thematic twist that most people won’t see coming.”

Viago nodded at them, but he wasn’t really paying attention, muttering about living in filth.   He led them to the living room where Nick was sitting reading a magazine while Vladislav and Deacon threw things and hissed at one another.

“Nick, I asked you to change the subject,” Viago lamented.

“I did.  They apparently take the Bachelor very seriously.  Stu probably should never have given you guys a television,” Nick replied, flipping to the next page. 

Viago floated over toward the two hissing vampires and broke them apart.  He said, “We have guests.”

“Sorry,” Vladislav muttered.

“I’m not.  No one gets me,” Deacon replied, storming off down the hall.

“Come back, Deacon!  We get to see the rest of the footage the crew shot,” Viago called out.  He sighed and glanced at the cameraman, explaining, “I apologize for his behavior.  Deacon has apparently entered the vampire teen years.  I don’t recall ever being such a pain in the ass, but it was a different time.”

“I took to torturing people to deal with my vampire teenage angst.  Of course, I was an actual teenager when I was turned, so it never really hit me the way it has Deacon,” Vladislav stated.  He pointed to Nick and said, “In another hundred and fifty years, we’ll be going through this with Nick.”

“I’m nothing like Deacon,” Nick stated.

“Your wardrobe would say differently,” Viago replied, sitting down next to Nick on the sofa. 

Vladislav leaned against the wall and said, “Let’s get started.”

“But Deacon-“

Vladislav cut Viago off, “If Deacon wants to behave like a civilized vampire…” his voice getting louder so that it reverberated throughout the house.  He took a breath and continued, “…he knows where to find us.  Show us the footage.”

**

The cameraman pointed to the empty chair, allowing his camera to zoom in and out to get the angles correct, before turning the camera back on Anton.  He said, “We appreciate you agreeing to do this interview.”

“I had my doubts, but I’ve seen some of the footage you shot of the fellas in the lead up to that weird not-so-secret gathering.  You managed to humanize evil vampires and I thought it might be good for people to understand that werewolves are more than howling beasts who tear apart flesh during a full moon.  I mean, yes, we do those things if we’re not careful – three months without incident – but we’re civilized creatures of the night,” Anton replied, tilting his head back to give the other crew member access to attach the microphone.

“Well, it’s appreciated.  We tried to interview a few of the zombies from the Unholy Masquerade, but they kept talking to us about all the ways they could eat our brains and no one on the crew felt comfortable.”

The other cameraman added, “We all signed waivers about how death or dismemberment was a possibility, and I witnessed a few myself while filming, but personally, I'm not okay with having my brains eaten.”

“Zombies.  I try not to be prejudiced toward other creatures of the night, but there is something really wrong with zombies.  One track mind with that lot.  Ask them about their day, they talk about brains.  One of them knocks into you in a park, it’s because they’re thinking about brains.  They’re not quite right,” Anton commented.   He placed his hand on the cameraman as he finished with the microphone and added, “And if I didn’t say it before, I’m really sorry that the two Nathans killed your crewmember during that fiasco a few months ago.  Not something we’re proud of, but once the wolf part takes over, it’s damn near impossible to control.  It’s why we go to such lengths to keep from harming others.  We’re not monsters.  Well, we are, I guess, but not inside our hearts.”

“At least he went quick,” the cameraman said.

Anton shot him a look and said, “Yes, of course.  I’m sure he felt no pain at all as his intestines were ripped from his body.”  There was a loud ruckus coming from an adjacent room and Anton pulled away.  He hollered out, “If any of my pack are involved, knock it off.  I’m not in the mood to deal with any unnecessary shifting tonight!”

“Fuck,” someone cursed.

“Declan, how many times have we had this conversation?  No cursing!”

“We’re werewolves, not swear wolves,” the rest of the group called out from the other room.  The cameraman thought he heard a twinge of annoyance in the words, but if Anton picked up on it, he didn’t seem to care. 

Anton smiled at the cameramen and said, “I’ve learned over the years that as the Alpha Male I must impose my will sometimes.  Rule with an iron claw and all that.”

The cameraman nodded and motioned to the chair.  Anton moved across the room and sat down.  He shifted uncomfortably and said, “Not sure how something like this goes.”

“We’re mostly here to document your lives, but it’s good to do some personal interviews and get to know our subjects better.  It’ll be good for the viewers too.  It will help those who might be scared of you to relate to you better.”

“I’m not entirely sure that’s possible.  People either think we’re gruesome beasts or cuddly dogs like those man-children in the Twilight movies.  But Stu convinced me to give you a chance and he thought this might be a good idea for everyone, take our new friendship with the vampires in the right direction by being a part of this strange thing.  Stu’s a good guy and I still feel terribly that we attacked him so brutally that night,” Anton replied.

“The general consensus seems to be that Stu is great,” the cameraman agreed.  He lifted the camera and asked, “How did you become a werewolf?”

“It’s not much of a story.  I was a young man, living in Auckland at the time, and had just left a party.  I was walking back to my flat and I decided to cut through the park, totally unaware of the full moon or what that could mean.   Next thing I know I’m waking up naked in a ditch covered in claw marks and my own blood.  Back then, while pack was important, certain Alphas didn’t particularly care about the carnage left in the aftermath of a full moon unless it drew human attention.  I had to figure a few things out on my own as I went along.  Let me tell you, it can be quite disconcerting the first time you catch yourself with the urge to howl into the night sky.  Worse were the cravings for rare meat.  I ate uncooked ground beef right from the package and proceeded to Google all the food-borne diseases I had likely caught, not realizing that there wasn’t much that could take a werewolf down…or that I even was one.”

“How did you finally figure it out?”

“He started humping people’s legs and chasing balls,” Deacon said, appearing out of nowhere and leaning against the wall with a smirk on his face.

“We’ve been through this, mate.  I don’t hump legs.  Never have,” Anton argued.  He glanced back at the cameraman and added, “The ball thing…I think it’s just our instinct to chase our prey.”

“And he loves balls,” Deacon commented.

“I do not love balls any more than any other werewolf.  I love balls a normal amount,” Anton responded.

Deacon shrugged and said, “I’m curious.  Did you smell the foul odor coming off you after your attack or were you numb to it?”

Anton rolled his eyes, but didn’t seem put-out at all by the conversation.  As if reading the cameraman’s mind, Anton said, “I’ve come to appreciate Deacon’s abrupt, in-your-face-because-I’m-a-dickhead nature over the past few months.”

Deacon pointed at him and said, “Such a dirty, swear wolf!”

Anton shook his head and said, “Don’t get me wrong.  There are still days where I’d love to rip out his jugular, but it usually passes and I remember that I’m somewhat fond of the idiot.”

Deacon grinned and said, “The feeling’s mutual, Anton.”  Deacon turned toward the camera, offering up a cheeky smile and went on, “The house reeks of wet dog after our new werewolf friends leave and watching them eat a hamburger is a disgusting sight to behold, but overall, I’ve developed a newfound appreciation for the mangy mutts of the night.”

Anton smiled and said, “And I do enjoy watching you transform into a bat and getting into winged slap fights with Nick.”  Anton focused on the camera and stated, “Vampires are such volatile and emotional creatures.”

“We are.  It’s all part of the persona.  And the fact that some other vampires, such as Nick, occasionally need to be put in their places.”

The cameraman asked, “Is that what happened yesterday?”

“Yesterday…” Deacon replied with a sigh.  He sat down in the empty chair next to Anton and stretched out, crossing his arms over his chest and smiling as if he was recalling a particularly good memory.  After a few moments, he continued, “I had just finished knitting a new jersey…a fashion memorial made of wool to honor my murdered creator and friend, Petyr.  Nick just had to comment about how he liked it and wanted one of his own.  Things got heated with me telling him once again to find his own vampire identity without always copying mine and him whining that I’ve never accepted him.  One thing leads to another, old wounds resurface about how Nick was responsible for Petyr experiencing a horrible death of fire at the hands of a hunter because Nick was an idiot.  It spiraled from there.”

Anton ducked his head and said, “I’m sure Nick understood once things settled down.  It can be hard to lose a friend.  Makes all of us a bit emotional.”

Deacon nodded.  “Exactly.  So there was some fighting, but Nick is one of us and I’m told that matters.  It’s one of the few times Viago gets angry and don’t be fooled by his dandy appearance.  You don’t want to get into a bat fight with him.  He once sent me hurtling through the sky and right into a tree.  And then, once we transformed back into human form, he slapped me with his gloves.  Better to keep Viago happy, so I’ve come to accept that Nick is one of us.  I really like having Stu around, and surprisingly I’ve come to enjoy spending time with these crazy werewolves…so I put up with Nick like I’m supposed to.  It can be a chore, but what else can I do?  It’s hard to find flatmates that aren’t freaked out by my history as a vampire Nazi.  I don’t see what the big deal is.  Make one tiny admission to working as part of Hitler’s vampire army and people want nothing to do with you.”

“Most people are upset by Nazis, Deacon” Anton stated.

Deacon rolled his eyes and said, “They just don’t get it.  Nazis were misunderstood simply because we lost the war.”

“And murdered millions of people.”

Deacon arched his eyebrow.  “Millions?”

“Yes, millions.  Every kid learns about the atrocities the Nazis committed in school.”

Deacon scoffed.  “School.  When I was a child, you went to work and enjoyed your life until you died at twenty-five.  No one needed school.”

“I think the hope is that children will learn from the world’s past mistakes and maybe refrain from becoming Vampire Nazis,” Anton offered.

“I guess,” Deacon replied.  He pointed to the cameraman and asked, “Are we sure there were millions killed?  I mean, I took out a few annoying Bolsheviks but that was mostly because Russia is not a fun place to be in the winter and I needed more layers of clothing.  I think these numbers have got to be exaggerated.  It was too cold to properly slaughter that many people.”

“It’s historical fact, Deacon.”

Deacon sighed.  “I always missed out on the good times during the war.”

Anton glanced at the camera and the two cameramen.  It was a look many of the crew had come to have around Deacon, but Anton seemed almost fond of the vampire.  He patted Deacon’s leg and said, “Well, we all have a past.  I once thought it was a good idea to wear pleather pants and vests with no shirts.”

Deacon snorted.  “You must’ve looked ridiculous with that physique.”

“I’m not sure ridiculous is the word that I would-“

“-and the hair.  Aren’t all werewolves covered in hair?  No one wants to see that.”

“Not all the time,” Anton answered.

Deacon chuckled and slapped Anton on the back.  He said, “That is an image I will hold onto for the rest of my days.    I treasure these chats, but now I need to get back to my knitting.  I’m working on a present for Stu that says ‘so glad you weren’t murdered by those crazy werewolves after all’ – no offense.”

“None taken,” Anton replied.

A loud banging sound reverberated through the old house followed by snarling and then some hollering.  Deacon stood up and said, “Who knew that Gin Rummy could get so heated, but Katherine and Viago take it very seriously.”

Anton stood up and walked toward the hall.  He shouted, “Boys, we’ve talked about this.  No rough housing when we’re guests in someone’s home.”  He shook his head and turned back to the camera.  “Sometimes an Alpha’s job is never done.”

Deacon slapped Anton on the back again, a little harder this time, and said, “Once you’re finished up with your interview, you should join us.  A few of us were thinking of going out.”

“Count me in.  There’s nothing more important than bonding with friends and pack,” Anton replied.

Deacon held up his hand and said, “I wouldn’t go that far.  Virgin blood is more important to me.”

“Right-“

“-and finding a great knitting pattern to dig into.”

The cameraman offered, “I think what Anton was trying-“

“-and having a familiar to do your bidding…” Deacon interrupted.  He looked to the camera and said, “I’m still battling some resentment toward Nick for turning my familiar without my permission.  It’s not as easy these days to find people willing to endure indentured servitude under the hopes of eternal life as a vampire.” 

The cameraman pointed out, “It doesn’t seem like any of you actually ever turn your familiars.”

“Well, that’s…of course we would do it when the time is right for everyone,” Deacon replied.  He moved over to the small, dirty refrigerator in the corner, and said, “But this isn’t about me.  I shouldn’t have interrupted.  I just came to get some of that beer that Stu likes.”

The cameraman could still admit it was a bit disconcerting how quickly Deacon vanished, like he hadn’t even been there a second ago.  Luckily, all of the vampires had stuck with the agreement not to feed on any of the crew; otherwise, they would’ve been screwed.

“Deacon is a character,” Anton replied with a smile.

“Yeah.”

“I wasn’t sure about how these interactions would go with the vampires.  Werewolves and vampires have a long history of mutual loathing.  It’s a lot to overcome and then there’s the horrible smell.”

“They’ve mentioned-“

“-not sure how you guys work around them so much.  Did you invest in nose plugs or did you just get used to it?  I like them, but I still can’t stomach the horrible vampire smell.”

“The vampires say that it’s the werewolves that smell terribly.”

Anton ducked his head and tapped his fingers on his thigh. When he looked up, he was grimacing as he replied, “There’s nothing worse than the scent of vampires.  I was once stuck in a room with a horde of zombies with flesh literally falling off their bones and it wasn’t nearly as bad as the stench of a vampire.  The best description I can give would be to stumble upon a mass grave of dead people and rotting skunk carcasses left out in hot weather and covered in animal feces…and even that doesn’t come close.  But they’re good guys once you get to know them, so we’ve all learned to tolerate the putrid odors.   Besides, it really matters to Stu that his pack and his friends get along.  I like my pack happy – it’s part of what makes me a good Alpha.”

“Do you fear repercussions from the rest of the werewolf world?”

“What do you mean?”

“If there is such a history of dislike between vampires and werewolves, how would others of your kind handle this forming friendship?” the cameraman asked.

Anton shrugged and said, “There are still plenty of werewolves out there who love the thrill of turning and hunting humans during a full moon.  Not only is it not practical to me if we want to continue to co-exist with humans, but I’ve never found the hunt to be enjoyable.  Most modern werewolves don’t take pleasure in such things.  Werewolves are very different from vampires in that way, but then again, we don’t need to hunt to sustain our lives like the vampires do.  Give me some raw meat and vitamins and I’m good to go.”

“Your pack and these vampires have made great strides in your relationships from where they were just months ago.”

“I definitely credit a lot of that to Stu and Nick.  Their friendship and their ability to see past their monster differences to keep what they have, well, it really struck me.  The first time Stu and Nick suggested we stop by this place, I couldn’t see how it would end in any other way but disaster, but it went surprisingly well.  Outside of my pack, I’ve come to consider Deacon, Viago, Vlad and Nick great friends.  They’re honorary members of our werewolf pack.  And the whole pack feels that way.  Something I doubt any of us expected.”

“Do you think the feeling is mutual?”

“We still have temper flare-ups that come out of different ways of doing things.  We’ve had to establish ground rules when we invite the vampires out to the bars with us.  Can’t have them draining everyone of their blood every time we go out.  That would be anarchy.   And they’ve asked that we stay away during the full moon because we can be rather unreasonable in wolf form.  I’ve learned it’s about compromise.”

“But it’s worth it?”

“I think so.  Can’t worry too much about what the rest of the creatures of the night are doing or thinking.  I can only focus on what’s best for my pack and, by some weird twist of fate, that means accepting our vampire friends.”

“And where do you think you go from here?”

“You heard Deacon. Tonight we’re heading out to the bar. Dion and I will probably talk about our rugby schedule and occasionally make fun of Nick and Deacon who insist on dancing, even when there's no dance floor,” Anton replied.  After a beat, he said, “But that’s not what you meant.  I don’t really know.  I’m not sure that’s something my pack and a couple of decent vampires can take on.  We’re not a symbol or a movement.  We’re just a few werewolves and vampires that have found a way to overlook years of ingrained hatred and get along with each other.”

**

Deacon waited until the cameraman had turned off the footage he shot with Anton and some of the other werewolves.  He sniffed himself and then sniffed Vladislav.  Vlad pushed him away and asked, “What are you doing?”

“I don’t think you smell.  Do I smell, Vlad?”

Vlad pushed him away again and said, “I’m not smelling you, Deacon, but I’ve told you a million times, you should brush your fangs more than once a century.  Being vampires doesn’t mean you forgo basic hygiene.”

Viago stood up and said, “I think what Anton said was quite lovely.  The werewolves have turned out to be quite a wonderful addition to our little family.  However, I do believe that Anton might be trying to place his own scent inadequacies onto us by trying to say we smell.   If we do have a scent, it’s an alluring one.”

“It’s true.  Vampires are sexy and smell great.  It helps us to lure the virgins to our door to feed upon,” Deacon replied.  He sniffed himself again and added, “I don’t smell anything, but that could be because  it’s impossible to smell anything over the terrible whiff of mangy dog that permeates every room of the flat these days.”

Viago nodded and replied, “It’s a well documented fact throughout the world that werewolves stink, but we’ve all learned to overlook that.  Haven’t we, Deacon?”

Deacon shrugged and said, “They’re alright.”

“Do you think this friendship will last?”

“Stu’s my best mate.  Him being a werewolf won’t change that,” Nick responded.

“But what about the rest of the pack?  Do you accept them as well?” the cameraman asked.

“Of course,” Nick replied.

Vladislav said, “I have moments where I consider skinning them and wearing their fur, but it usually passes after I feed.”

“It’s true.  He’s terribly grumpy when he’s hungry,” Viago commented.  Viago pressed his hand into his frilly top and added, “I care a great deal for all of them.  I realized I had misjudged the foul beasts because every other pack of werewolves I’ve ever met were worthless mongrels, but these guys are great.  They’ve helped me make sure the others get to bed before sunrise a few times after a long night of debauchery.  I greatly appreciate that they don’t pee on the furniture or rip the curtains to shreds when they come over.  And we can all have a good laugh together.”

“They’ve gone to the store for me a few times since I still haven’t found a new familiar to do my bidding during daylight,” Deacon added.

Nick rolled his eyes and said, “For the last time, Jackie asked and I was mad at you, so I turned her.  I’m sorry.”

“You say you’re sorry, but you don’t really seem contrite, Nick,” Deacon argued.

“But I am,” Nick replied.  He turned to the cameraman and mouthed, “Not at all sorry.”

“I saw that, Nick!” Deacon grumbled.

“No more fighting, you two.  Last time you destroyed my favorite linen chairs and took out two paintings from my collection,” Viago replied.  Viago shot an apologetic look to the cameraman and added, “We also lost Frank, the lighting guy, after he accidentally got thrown into Vlad’s torture room and fell onto one of his pokers.  Very sad night for all of us.”

“Indeed.  It was my favorite poker.  I had used it to torture numerous people over the last five hundred years, but the way Frank impaled himself upon it, left it unusable going forward.”

“Do you think that in the future you and the werewolves will be able to bring other creatures of the night around?” the cameraman asked.

Deacon shook his head and said, “Most vampires are set in their ways and most humans and werewolves aren’t really worth getting to know.  I put up with it for Stu.”

“Stu’s the best,” Viago commented.

“Stu gave me the internet,” Vlad said.

“Even as a werewolf, he’s still a really cool dude,” Deacon shared.

“Yes, we get it.  We all love Stu.  Stu’s the best and I’m the worst,” Nick said in a huff, storming out of the room.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Deacon said, “I’ve got some knitting to do.  I promised Anton that I’d make him a jersey just like mine.” 

Vlad nodded and added, “I must go as well.  The Beast is stopping by later and I must prepare my lair to properly show her how much I despise her existence.  It makes her feel special.”

“I’ll show you gentlemen out.  I need to clean up and prepare for my romantic evening with Katherine.  We have a lot of lost time to make up for.”

“Where is she anyway?” the cameraman asked as Viago led them back toward the door.

Viago smiled wistfully and said, “She likes to hang out with the other young vampires.  I’m an old man compared to her and it can be hard to keep up with her.”  Viago opened the door and turned to face the two men.  He said, “I have to admit that there were moments over the course of filming this that I thought about making you forget it ever happened.  I wondered if we were in over our heads and making a foolish decision, but I decided to have faith in your vision for this documentary.  And Vlad pointed out that you have months of film squirreled away that it would be impossible to track down, so…"

"Well, we appreciated the chance to get to know you and share your story with the world."

Viago played with his shirt, causing it to bounce, as he shifted on his feet.  He said, "I guess we shall see.  Have a good life.  Hopefully we never meet in a dark alley.  Oh and I’d avoid the park tonight as the wolf pack is out there howling at the moon like they do.”

“Thank you for the opportunity to experience your world.”

“It was a pleasure.  It’s been an interesting few months and there were a few moments where I wondered what we had gotten ourselves into…losing Petyr to a vampire hunter was a blow, but I think we’ve all come out stronger because of it,” Viago replied.

“Where do you think you go from here?” the cameraman asked.

Viago looked thoughtful for a moment and he replied, “I don’t know, but I hope it’s not a fiery death at the hands of angry humans who viewed your movie.  You humans do love your torches and pitchforks, even after all these years.”

Viago ushered them out the door and shut it in their faces.  The two men exchanged a look and started down the sidewalk.  All in all, they had gotten what they had come for and maybe by creating this documentary, they could help to create a line of communication between different types of monsters.  

The cameraman glanced back at the house.  He could hear yelling and something breaking and it struck him that he would miss all of them.  He wouldn't be sleeping without his crucifix or stake anytime soon, but he was proud of the footage the crew had shot and hoped that people would see that every creature had its foibles and issues.  And now the only remaining question was where any of them went from here.


End file.
